*chirpchirp* where you at?

I hope that someday someone buys me: I am so happy someone just bought me:
Yesterday I also invented a drinking game, whereby you watch this movie, and take a swig of whatever anytime they say "kill," "killer," "killed," or "killing."  If you do it correctly it should result in severe alcohol poisoning.

Also, I was sick last week.  Which was no big whoop, just a little sinus congestion, but it had the rather unpleasant side effect of making me actually watch TV.  So I learned about the new style of extreme wrestling in which contestants wear gloves and contort themselves in such a way that their faces are in each other's crotches, and they basically beat the shit out of each other.  I didn't know that existed.  I saw a reality tv show where vapidly shallow 20-something women compete against vapidly shallow but somewhat more mature and sexually experienced 40-something women for the affections of an equally shallow and vapid, but rich and supposedly good-looking dude.  It offended me on so many different levels, but I did exactly what I was supposed to do: I watched, horrified yet transfixed, and then went out and bought whatever they advertised during the commercial breaks.  I saw Tyra and some new judge shows.  I met Dr. Phil's wife and listened to her homespun wisdom, and Rachel Ray showed me some new and exciting uses of sausage meat.

And Thank God, I also got to see this:

My favorite part of the commercial is the guy sitting in front of a computer at work, fantasizing about going fishing with his incredibly tiny implement.  I can relate!  Unfortunately, I am completely landlocked in midtown.  Also, fishing grosses me out a little bit.